“WHAT IF’ FAIRY TALE MADNESS BLOGFEST– PART II, THE ENTRY: CINDERELLA
The prince was unexpectedly hideous.
Visiting princesses fled the ball, unswayed by his wealth. Cinderella accepted his proposal, turning a blind eye in exchange for a royal life.
The challenge exceeded her ambition.
“He’s so ugly, I cannot bear to kiss him,” Cinderella bemoaned while brushing her hair. She paused mid-stroke, and eyed her fairy godmother. “Can’t you do something?”
“Stupid girl,” the fairy said, and waved her bony hand before the princess’s mirror.
Cinderella followed the movement, then startled at her reflection. A plain-faced girl imitated every frantic gesture of her distress.
“What have you done?” she cried.
“Undone.”
“Excuse me?”
The fairy sighed. “Your beauty was a spell, seen only by you—a confidence booster you no longer need.”
“No!” Cinderella protested. “My beauty is renowned, I am much admired by all.”
“Your kindness was renowned, your loving spirit much admired. Now vanity consumes both. Handmaids flee your foul moods, the cook cries because she cannot please you—your prince avoids your ill-concealed contempt. You are what you see,” the fairy replied.
“Old witch, get out of my sight!” Cinderella said.
The fairy gave her a sharp rap between the eyes. Cinderella screamed as the chamber went dark. She stumbled about, blind, before falling into a desolate heap.
Fearing her temper, her maids left her alone. Cinderella curled on the floor, weeping, until a warm hand touched her face and a kind voice lifted her from her despair.
Why did I never notice how rich the prince’s baritone is? she wondered, and cried harder when he hand-fed her dinner.
“My love, why do you weep?” he asked.
“Because you are so beautiful,” she sobbed, then kissed him, willingly. At that moment her sight returned, and the prince saw the truth shining in her eyes.
***
A special thank you to Morgan Shamy, Leigh Covington, Cassie Mae, and Mark Koopmans for producing such a creative and fun blog hop. All four hosts are amazing writers– you can visit their page by clicking on their names. Each of their blogs provide a full list of participants and links to the entries. There are so many great stories, you’ll want to enjoy them all. 🙂
It’s really hard to write a complete story in 300 words, but I did my best and hope you enjoyed it. 🙂 What fairy tale is your favorite– and if you could change one thing, what would you choose?
“WHAT IF” FAIRY TALE MADNESS BLOGNESS– PART I, THE RULES:
WHAT IF?
Fairytale Madness BlogFest!
AUGUST 13th – 17th
Outwitting the dry heat this summer has been a challenge, and it seems even this blog could use a little rain. 🙂 I’ve been working on LUMEN during the Nanowrimo summer camps, and trying my hand at flash fiction — the latest being my submission for the Fairytale Madness Blogfest, hosted by Leigh Covington, Mark Koopmans, Cassie Mae, and Morgan Shamy . Come join the blog hop August 13th through the 17th, even if you don’t write you are sure to enjoy the collection of short stories based on the following categories: Plot Twist, Love Story, Tragedy, and Comic Relief. If you’d like to try your hand at sketching out a scene of 300 words or less, click on any of the links above to learn more about it and sign up!
I chose the story of Cinderella and the category, PLOT TWIST. There’s so much more I wanted to write– it’s very, very hard to limit a scene to 300 words! My entry can be found in the blog above.
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
What a fun idea for the contest! I hope the writing is going well and good luck D.D.!
Thanks, Nicole! Come and join us– I know you’ve got a plot twist lurking in that talented brain. 😀
Oh my gosh, Denise! I love this! It’s funny, sweet and has a moral, too! Great job!
Hi Lara! Thank you so much– for your kinds words and the inspiration to join the blogfest! I’m looking forward to your fairy tale and a fun round of blog hopping. This is going to be a good start to an “up and at ’em” week, right?
Oh! I love that twist! So very sweet! Great story 🙂
Thanks, J.A.! Your visit is much appreciated. 🙂 I really enjoyed your entry as well– it definitely left me wanting more.
How’d I miss this? I just love it, D! You really mastered an economy of words, making the most of each sentence. Such great twists. Bravo!
Thanks, Vaughn. Your thoughtful comments are always so appreciated! 😀 I’m looking forward to the day when I can blog about that awesome epic of yours.
Fantastic story Denise! I love the twist and the message. Well done! Best of luck to you, and you’ve got my vote.
Thanks, Nicole– you always leave the nicest comments, and I treasure them all. <3
Loooooove this… !!!
What a fun twist. And way to fit the whole story in 300 words! It’s clear you’re talented. Awesome work 😀 Thank you also for creating this amazing blog hop– I’m having so much fun. 😀
Thanks, Morgan! My daughter and I just loved your story. You have a wonderful gift for imagery. 🙂
This is brilliant! I was totally intrigued through the entire thing! I love it!
Thanks so much for being part of the blog fest! Great entry!
Thank you, Leigh! I truly enjoyed your tragic tale and the deliciously snarky vibe. Loved the ending, re: the bitter king. Thanks also for hosting this wonderful blog hop. It’s been a blast.
This is excellent, thanks for sharing. I love that Cinderella lost her beauty, because she’d forgotten her kindness was renowned and loving spirit, but that she saw the prince’s true beauty in the end. 😀
Thank you, Claire! I appreciate your visit, and enjoyed your moving rendition of Beauty and the Beast as well. 🙂
Excellent plot twist, concise writing, great voice + a moral = a winning combo! Love this!
Haha–the lady with Bluebeard in her pocket! Thanks, Michelle. This has been an enjoyable day spent amidst so much collective creativity. I adored your clever Elizabeth and zinger of an ending.
Oh, wow. I love this. Such a great twist!
New follower, btw. 🙂
Hi, Linda! Thank you so much for your kind words, and the follow. Both are much appreciated. 🙂
Nice! I like this twist on Cinderella! Good job.
Thanks, Rena. Your feedback is so appreciated! Have a great night. 🙂
Interesting twist. Cinderella is always told as being so sweet. It’s a little enjoyable to see her be snarky and get taught a lesson.
Thanks, Connie! I love that word– snarky. lol. I really enjoyed your “old” sleeping Beauty. It was refreshing. 🙂
How great that they both see each other for who they really are in the end. Great job!
Ahhh . . . I remember you, your Rumplestiltskin packed one heck of an emotional wallop. A heart-rendering tragedy with lovely imagery. Thanks so much for coming by, and the like on my page. 😀
Oh, yeah! I like doing Cinderella as the bad guy.
Lauren
Lauren-ritz.blogspot.com
Me, too! 😛 Thanks, Lauren! I see yours is up now, and I’m off to read it. 🙂
I’m not sure I have a favorite fairy tale; I enjoy them all, especially this twisted prompts.
That was a great take on Cinderella. Beauty really is only what you see. A person is so much more than that.
Loved this version.
……..dhole
I agree, Donna! This blogfest has been so much fun. I’ve enjoyed the originality of each entry and even though I complained about the WC– the short reads were a perfect length for hopping about. Thanks for the kind feedback– I believe beauty is something that shines from within, too. And I loved your pumpkin-eater story! It had such delightful surprises. 🙂
Dee, I love your take on Cinderella! 300 words is so hard for me…I like foreplay! You nailed it!
LOL, Bethany– I do, too! You always make me laugh. Thank you so much for the visit and comment. It means a lot. <3
This was incredible. Seriously. I think you should turn it into a full-fledged book!
Aw! Thanks, Ilima! I think I’ll float around the room for a while after that comment. 😀 Your engaging take on Sleeping Beauty definitely left me wanting more.
that was a wonderful twist!
reminded me of shallow hal =)
Thanks, Tara! I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right. 😛 Loved your humor with the 3 Little pigs– it was sooo good, I laughed on it a long while.
Oh, D.D, This is absolutely fantastic! You managed to tell the story in just a few words. To who the princess’ personality, the prince’s kindness and the leson she learned after she became blind. Wow! well done. 🙂
(blushes) Thanks, Cecelia! You made my day. 🙂 This has been such an enjoyable experience– and your rendition of Beauty & the Beast was no exception. I felt each trepid footfall as Belle moved toward the alter; the Beast’s mournful howl broke my heart.
Wonderful. The beauty in these fairy tales are so overrated. Well done. 🙂
Thanks, Mina– I agree. Got a chuckle out of your king, and enjoyed your Cinderella’s spirit. The docile maidens in fairy tales are over-rated, too, me thinks. 😛
That was amazing. One of my faves so far (I’m starting from the bottom and working my way up). Great to meet you in the hop!
A2Z Mommy and What’s In Between
Hi Tracy! So nice to meet you, too– loved your version of the little red hen and her over-eager roomies. It was charming with a wonderful pace. Thanks for the kind words. All the stories are fun.
Aaaah. Sigh. Such a great ending to the twist! Nicely done!
Thanks, Cortney. I think the plot twist was a favorite category, don’t you? Loved your imagery, and the shocking end. 🙂
Aloha D.D.,
It’s my first time visiting, and all I can say is:
WOW! You go with your Plot-twisting self 🙂
That was really, really great and I loved how you jam-packed so much into three hundred words 😉
Thanks so much for participating and I’m a new subscriber (if I can’t be a new follower 🙂
Mahalo! Thanks for the kind words, the grin on mah face has spread from ear-to-ear. 😀 You and the others have done an amazing job organizing this blog hop, and it’s been a blast reading all the entries. I got a kick out of No and Stella (great pacing) and thoroughly enjoyed your zinger at the end. Very clever. Thanks for the follow, too– I’m following back. 🙂 Aloha.
What a great twist! I love this!
Thanks, Danielle! Your twist on Rumplestiltskin was wicked! lol. Great plot twist and deliciously horrific. 😛
That was a great twist on Cinderella. A great moral as well. Nicely done!
Thanks, Shelley! I enjoyed both fairy tales on your blog– the Shoemaker was both funny and tragic, and the Seven Dancing Princesses a fun trip back through the 70’s.
Loved the Cinderella and the twist on her story!
Thanks for commenting, Cindy! I remember laughing at your medley of twists, particularly Sleeping Beauty’s night-stalker hubby. Clever twists.
This is a wonderful retelling. It was full of surprises and had a great message.
Welcome to my blog, Medeia (love your name btw) and thanks for the comment. 🙂 Your Rumplestiltskin depicting the miller and daughter as swindlers was a funny plot twist. I reallyenjoyed the silly imps that self-destructed. 🙂
It felt longer than the 300 words! Lots happening in the story. I really like the message you put across as well. This is high quality work!
Lol, Nick! It’s 300 right on the nose, and I swear if the restriction had been 299– I’d be at a loss to cut a another single word. Thanks for coming by. I checked your blog again and see that you got yours up on Thurs. so I’m off to read it now. 🙂
Oh my goodness, I love this. You write so beautifully!
Thank you so much, Cassie. And thanks for hosting such a fun blog hop– you rock! I’ve truly enjoyed this opportunity to meet other writers and share what we love to do. 😀
Denise, it’s about time someone got to the heart of the matter! Good for you.
Hah! Thanks, Normandie. 😛
I liked the story bbut a little more suspense would have been great.
Hi! Thank you for visiting and taking time to comment. I agree. The suspense in a story is my favorite part. This was my first try at a short story, and I found it more difficult than a full-length novel.